I Don’t Like It!!

Well, it’s Christmas Day 2019. The tree is shining brightly and adorned with ornaments collected throughout the years. Many are handmade and each one holds a special memory for me and my wife. The TV is playing old Christmas shows one after another. I'm sitting in front of it with my feet up in my chair enjoying a hot cup of coffee. My wife is in her chair occupied with her phone waiting to see pictures of the grand kids and their presents. We’ve enjoyed a very quiet and peaceful Christmas morning.

Our kids are grown with families of their own, and they all live far away. I miss the tromp of little feet coming down the hall to get us out of bed so that they could open presents. I miss the sleepy eyes that brightened up when they saw their gift. I miss the rumpled hair, the scrambling around the tree, the squeals of delight, and all the commotion. Most of all, I miss them sitting in my lap showing off their present and the thank you with a hug attached. Those Christmas days were the best. For us they are gone now. I completely understand, but, I don’t like it.

Ahhh...the smell of giblet  gravy simmering on the stove makes me sure that dressing is in the stove. There’s always ham, sweet potato casserole, peas, butter beans, corn, mac&cheese, rolls to go with the chicken dressing, and sweet tea or soda pop to drink...and then Mamaw’s chocolate pie, or lemon pie, or pecan pie, or various cakes...Mmmmm...wait, none of this is happening this year. For the first time in my life, there’ll be no family gathering and meal on Christmas Day. My mother is no longer able to host a big meal even when we all bring good dishes. I miss the meal and fellowship of my kin. I just don’t like it.

With age comes the realization that our children no longer need us in the same way they once did. I know that they still love us, but our position has moved from in the midst to the outside looking in.
We are now more peripheral and that’s difficult...especially for my wife. How many times a day do I hear her say “I wish they’d call me!”. I suppose every loving parent must accept this..and yes, we have the electronic solutions—FaceTime, Skype, Messenger, messages and all that. It’s just not the same. I don’t like it.

Now, having read to this point, one might think that I don't like Christmas! Not so at all, I love celebrating the birth of my Savior and all that goes with it. I still have visions of sugarplums, I adore the Christmas music, and, I am very grateful for all the Lord has allowed me. I look forward to many more. I know they will be different than what I long for, but, time has a way of changing things quite a lot. My life is now made up of more yesterdays than tomorrows!..quite a sobering thought! Getting   old is not for sissies for sure! I don't like it!

May you all have a very blessed and merry Christmas with family and friends. Now, I Do like that!

Puff's Story

About two and a half years back, a female stray cat began to hang around the house. It was obvious that it had never been petted much. After supper every night we began to talk to it and give it table scraps. After a few days, it would finally tolerate a hand rubbing its back, and I was able to ascertain its gender without doubt. We decided that we did not need a female cat having kittens all the time, and her life was spared when my grand daughter came to visit us and was able to pet the cat. Every few minutes of the day she would go outside to see about the cat. She and her grandmother settled on naming the cat KeeKee. KeeKee was a young cat, and I know she had been put out because she was female. We talked about having her fixed and were just about to do it when guess what?...you got it!...kittens on the way!

The days pass, and we know the time is near for kittens to be born. My wife has a big heart for animals, and she was hoping KeeKee would have her kittens in a safe place where they could easily be found...didn't work...one day the pregnant cat disappeared. A couple of days later my wife heard a cat crying insistently at the back door. She opened the door and there stood KeeKee as we say in the south, "justa squalin!". It was obvious that she was no longer pregnant, but, where were her kittens?
Time passed and my wife went to the door again and heard a kitten cry inside the storage room.  She located the kitten and placed her in a box inside the storage room and went back inside.  After a little while she opened the back door and saw KeKe running across with deck with kitten number two in her mouth.  The cat marched up and laid it down on the deck then took off again...in a little while she brought another...then another.. for a total of four, two males and two females.

KeKe was a good mother, and we enjoyed watching the kittens play and grow to "adoption age." They were pretty kittens and for once social media paid off. The two males and one female were taken by friends and family. By this time my wife had decided to keep the biggest, long haired black and white kitten. She named her "Puffy", "Puff" for short. We had already neutered KeeKee, and as soon as Puff was old enough, we had her "fixed" as well.

Puff grew and became larger than her mother. When Puff came home from the vet, KeeKee would have nothing to do with her. They would hiss and slap at one another until finally all out cat fights began to take place. Puff was the larger cat and soon chased her mother away. Most of the time we have had only Puff but KeKe would return occasionally. Puff has always been an "outside" cat, but she had access to the inside of the house during the day. On Wednesday night of last week we put her out for the night. The next morning I got up early and went to play golf. Usually, Puff would be waiting at the door and come bolting in when it was opened, but, this day she was not there. I thought nothing of it for there had been other days when she would be missing then show up a little later in the morning. I loaded my cart then drove to the golf course. I had played 4 or 5 holes when my phone rang...My wife said, "I hate to bother you while you're playing golf, but, can you come home and help me find Puff? I hear her meowing in the woods in front of the house, and she won't come out. She's crying, and I can't find her!". I'm thinking I don't want to leave my golf game so I try to reassure her  that Puff is all right. She doesn't buy it and insists that the cat is hurt or trapped and desperately needs help. A rain shower was approaching the golf course so, I loaded my cart and went  home to see about Puff!

When I got home, I found my wife standing out in the front yard calling Puff. I took my time, unloaded my cart, and walked down the hill to see what I could do to locate the cat. We both began to call and Puff answered "meow!". It sounded like the cat was somewhere near us up a little draw in the side of the hill that once was used as a "wet weather spring". The area around the spring is covered with  brambles, bushes, and trees of various ages and heights. The old spring emanated from the base of a huge sweet gum tree that has two trunks rising from the same root system. The trees are probably at least 80' high. The thickest part is along the edge where the smaller bushes and brambles were growing. "Puff is in there somewhere..She's hurt or hung, and we have to find her!  Listen to her crying!" said my frightened wife.

We spent hours looking for Puff. We would call, and she would answer. I knew that cats usually escape danger by climbing, so I spent a considerable amount of time looking up those two giant sweet gums. I could not see her in the trees and it certainly sounded like she was underground close to us. We came to the conclusion that the cat had somehow crawled into a hole in the ground somewhere and was stuck. I searched and searched the banks of the spring hole and finally found a slick looking hole which led me to think, *Well, she might have went in after a squirrel or rabbit or something and got lost in a maze of tunnels where she couldn't figure out how to get back out*. It sounded like the cat was in the bank just to the right of the base of those two sweet gums. I got my shovel and began to dig into the bank where we thought her cries were coming from. I must have dug a dozen or so holes finding nothing that looked remotely like a tunnel.  I decided that Puff's only chance was for her to figure out how to get out on her own..I had done all I could do.

The sad and forlorn look on a woman's face can stir a man to try stuff even when he knows it's pointless. So it was with me, and after sitting through the heat of the day, Thursday evening I got my shovel once again and dug more holes hoping to get lucky.  Late that evening my neighbors came to help us look. Now the search party consisted of two grown men and two women. We call, Puff answers "meow".  All four of us think she's here or there, but, no cat to be found. Finally dark arrives and things get quiet and still. Another neighbor came to help with a flashlight.  He shines his light up and down the trees and finally sees Puff's glowing eyes about 75 feet up the tree.  Jubilation is the best way to describe how my wife felt...the rest of us were relieved as well, although I was a tad aggravated that I had spent nearly all day digging holes and fighting through briers and brambles! Knowing the cat was in the tree and assuring my wife that she would come down, we went to bed that night thinking Puff would be at the door Friday morning.

We got up Friday morning earlier than usual expecting to see Puff dash in when we opened the door. Still no Puff! Her meows told us she was still up the tree. Intermittently all day long and into the night we called and she wouldn't budge. She would prance out to the end of the limb she was on, meow at us, look around a bit, then go back to her perch. Once during the day she actually came down one limb lower than she had been, but went back up. I'm thinking the cat can and will come down..eventually. My wife feared the worst, that the cat couldn't figure out how to back down and would stay in the tree till she passed out and fell. All this time, my wife had been on social media with her friends and neighbors and by now, the whole community was worried about Puff. Finally late Friday night we gave up and hoped for better results on Saturday.

My wife's fear was that the cat was in great need of water. She had been in the tree three nights and two days without any food or water and the days were mid 90's and very humid. Again we got up early and opened the door on Saturday morning...still no Puff. Nothing had changed, Puff was exactly where she had been the day before! We began to call as sweetly as we could and amazingly, the cat began to come down! With much coaxing from the both of us, she would back down the trunk from one limb to the next. Each time she reached a lower limb, she would walk out on it and look around for what seemed the longest time before going back to the trunk and sitting a while. After a couple of hours calling her, she made it to the lowest limb on the sweet gum tree. It was a long limb and stretched all the way out to the edge of the thicket. Puff would walk out all the way to the end of the limb then back.  Even though this was the lowest limb, it was a good 20' above ground and the cat absolutely would not get back on the trunk and back down. Finally she made a move...she climbed back up to her original spot! Now my wife is in a tizzy. She was afraid the cat would die from lack of water, and she looked at me with a pitiful face. I'm at a loss as to what I could do. She wants me to spray the water hose up in the tree...I know it won't reach, not even close. I had worked a ladder up the tree as high as I could. It reached to a point under the lowest limb but not high enough to reach the cat. Even up the ladder, the hose wouldn't reach.

What could we do to get Puff some food and water? Well, country boy ingenuity set in. I got my open faced reel and tied a good size weight on the line. I made my first cast at the limb that Puff was sitting on and missed. The weight hung on a twig, and I broke the line trying to pull it out. A second try ended the same way. The third cast hit my mark. The weight pulled the line all the way to the ground underneath the tree. I tied a  nylon line with a large pound test to the fishing line and pulled it over the limb and out to the point in the yard where I had made the cast. We tied a picnic basket to the twine underneath the tree then hoisted it up the tree with some food and water in it. We hoped the cat would actually get into the basket, and we could then lower her. I pulled the basket all the way up to the limb where Puff was perched. She walked out to the basket, looked into it, retreated, came back, looked again, then stuck her head down and drank some water. That silly cat then went back to her perch and stretched out for a nap! I throw up my hands and proclaim, "Well, I'm done! That cat will come down when she passes out I bet!". Again we are out of thoughts as to how to get Puff out of the sweet gum tree.

My daughters who live hours away from us were texting and calling my wife constantly wanting to know about Puff. They suggested calling the fire department, the phone company, the power company, or someone who owns a bucket truck. We live in the country...the fire department is volunteer and has no ladder truck, the utility companies just cannot do such things, and as far as I know, no one has a bucket truck. Besides, heavy equipment would ruin my yard!  Finally my oldest daughter told her mother that something just had to be done, so, she searched the internet until she found a person who would try to rescue the cat. He lived about 85 miles from us, but, said he would drive as far as three hours to attempt a rescue. She called him and gave him her mother's number. Early Sunday morning, he called and said he could be here by 10:30. The whole community and all of the Facebook connections are relieved. Finally, Puff is going to be rescued!...we hope!

I teach Sunday School so I went to Sunday school while my wife waited for the rescuer. My friends and neighbors in my class were well aware of the "Puff" crisis, and they wholeheartedly supported my decision to shorten the lesson so that I could be home in time to meet the cat rescuer.  About 10:45 he called and said that he had inadvertently placed the wrong address in his GPS but would arrive in about 15 minutes. Mr. Bob arrived around 11 and after papers were signed protecting us if he got hurt as well as protection for him in case the cat got hurt, we walked down to the sweet gum tree. He told me that he had made several hundred cat rescues, two or three dog rescues, and one drone rescue. His last rescue was about the same height as this one, so, the height didn't bother him.

After surveying the situation, Mr Bob decided that the line I had already worked over the limb was a bit too far out for the limb to safely hold his weight, so, another had to be secured closer to the trunk. He got his trusty Big Shot out of the truck. It was a giant sling shot. He tied a bean bag to a sturdy line and shot it up into the tree over the limb just above Puff's perch. It took three tries, but on the third, the bag hit its mark and pulled the line over the limb. Now Mr. Bob tied a heavy rope to the line and pulled it over the limb, then secured it to a nearby tree. The line had been shot from the yard over the undergrowth, so the rope had to be worked through the brush so that it hung vertically. We pulled as much as we could, then Mr. Bob said his body weight would do the rest. He donned his climbing gear and hooked to the rope. As expected, his body weight pulled the rope through the brush until it was a straight up climb. Now he started to climb the rope.

When he got to the lowest limb he paused to rest. All the while we are talking and pleading with Puff, still trying to coax her down a bit. Again he starts up and climbs to a point just under Puff's perch. She just sat there looking at him. He spent several minutes talking to her and even offered her a cat treat (this guy had everything imaginable). Finally he moved within reach and just as Puff had decided to move up higher, he grabbed her and put her in a cloth sack. After repelling down the rope, he handed the sack to me and told me to take her inside the house to let her out. Inside the house, I opened the bag and let her out. She seemed distressed and disoriented for a bit, but, soon settled down and took a little food and water. Puff was out of the tree finally and safe inside the house.

Word spread quickly over our little community and many people showed their relief by text message, phone calls, and Facebook posts. Many have said that this was the most exciting thing to happen in our community in years! Puff was a celebrity! Mr. Bob would take no pay for his magnificent work. He simply asked for a small donation to his humane society chapter. After collecting a nice contribution, Mr. Bob headed home. and we go inside with Puff...just look at where she decided to settle down!

After all the trouble we went through, now she gets in the basket! *rollin eyes*

Goodness gracious! It might snow!!

People of the Deep South take on extreme heat and humidity with an air of indifference. After all, it is supposed to be hot and humid here. I suppose it is the stuff of legend in that the southern climate is given by many as the reason southerners talk and move slowly.  Maybe, but, I tend to think it's just our nature to roll with the punch.

I mean, we get tornado warning and we'll go outside to see if we can see the tornado! We get a hurricane warning down on the coast and most just move out of its way. No big deal for them other than possible destruction of property and inconvenience. Those who choose to stay in the path know the risk to life and limb, but, it is their choice.

One would think that living through these events in the way that we do would prepare us for anything Mother Nature might do to us.....not so! Today we received word from the national weather service....." The national weather service has issued a winter storm watch/warning for the following counties......".  Whoa! Goodness gracious! It might snow tonight! The situation is dire!

Here's what it sounds like in homes across the Deep South. "I hope we don't lose power! We got plenty bread and milk? Go out yonder and check how much propane we got! Reckon they'll have school tomorrow? We might oughta leave the heater on low tonight, don't want no pipes to freeze! Catch up some water case we get out! The cars and trucks got plenty gas?  Go get that old raggedy blanket out of the closet and put it in the car port so them dogs/cats can lay on it and stay warm. Remember that time it stayed on the ground for nearly two weeks? 'At was bout 1963 wad'nt it? Hey! You cranked that generator lately? What we gonna eat?...I reckon we can make a big ol pot of soup and eat that. I don't mind a good snow but I don't want no freezin rain! Maybe it'll be enough to build a snowman and make some snow ice cream! I hope it snows a foot!"

Yep! You want to get a southerner giddy with excitement, just mention the "s" word. The tv weather men and women always wait till the last minute to predict snow...they know the phone, email, and texting will explode...especially if the event doesn't happen as predicted which happens more than not!

And then the next morning....."Wow! Look at all the snow! It's still fallin! Boy it's really comin down! It's sho is pretty ain't it? Wonder how long it'll be here? Put ye on a bunch of clothes and a big ol coat fore ye go out....you put them freezer bags over ye socks fore ye put ye shoes on?  Ye don't need to git ye feet wet..ye'll get sick shore as the world!   Ah-ite! Get out there and build ye a snowman, just don't stay out too long...don't need no frost bit toes or nothin! Man! It's comin a blizzard out there! Better find them candles...might lose power!"

Most consider a little snow and temperatures around freezing no big deal, but, for the people around here who seldom see even a flurry, a snow covered ground is a spectacular event!

God bless us all during this Christmas season and thanks to Him for the beautiful snow! Goodness gracious! It's snowin in Dixie!

Explaining God.....sort of!

A professor asked one of his students, "You are a Christian, aren't you son?". The student replied, "Yes Sir."  Professor: So, you believe in God?  Student: Absolutely, Sir.  Professor: Is God good?  Student: Sure!  Professor: Is God all powerful?  Student: Yes.  Professor: Well, my brother died of cancer even though he prayed to God to heal him.  Most of us would try to help others who are ill, but God didn't. How is this God good then? Hmm?  Student: Silence  Professor: You can't answer can you?  Let's start again, young fella, is God good? Student: Yes.  Professor: Is satan good? Student: No.  Professor: Where does satan come from?  Student: From--God.  Professor: That's right.  Now tell me son, is there evil in this world?  Student: Yes.  Professor:  Evil is everywhere isn't it? And God created everything, correct?  Student: Yes.  Professor: So, who created evil?  Student: again silent. Professor: Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness?  All these things exist in the world don't they?  Student: Yes Sir.  Professor:  So, who created them?  Student: No answer.  Professor: Science says that you have 5 senses that you use to identify and observe the world around you. Tell me son, have you ever seen God?  Student: No Sir.  Professor: Tell us if you have ever heard, felt, tasted, or smelt your God? Have you ever had any sensory perception of God for that matter?  Student: No Sir, I'm afraid I haven't. Professor: Yet you still believe in Him?  Student: Yes!  Professor: According to Empirical, Testable, Demonstrable Protocol, science says your God doesn't exist. What do you say to that? Student: Nothing, I only have my faith.  Professor: Yes! Faith, and that is the problem science has.  Student: Professor, is there such a thing as heat?  Professor: Yes.  Student: And, is there such a thing as cold? Professor: Yes. Student: No, Sir! There isn't! (class becomes silent) Student: Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, white heat, a little heat, or no heat. But, we don't have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat, but we can't go any lower than that. There is no such thing as cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, just the absence of it. (Pin drop silence in the room) Student continues: What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness? Professor: Yes, what is night if there isn't darkness? Student: You're wrong again Sir! Darkness is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, or even flashing light. But, if you have no light constantly, you have nothing and it's called darkness. In reality, darkness isn't! If it were, you could make it darker couldn't you? Professor: So what is your point? Student: Sir, my point is that your philosophical premise is flawed! Professor: Flawed? Can you explain? Student: Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue there is life and then there is death, a good God and a bad God. You view the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, science can't even explain a thought! It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life, just the absence of it. Tell me Sir, do you teach evolution? Professor: Yes. Student: Have you ever seen evolution with your own eyes? Professor shakes his head with a smile beginning to realize where the argument was headed. Student continues: Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an ongoing endeavor, are you not teaching your opinion Sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher? The classroom explodes in an uproar. Student continues: Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor's brain? (much laughter) Is there anyone who has heard, felt, tasted or smelt it? No one? So, according o the established rules of Empirical, Stable, Demonstrable Protocol, science says that you have no brain Sir! With all due respect Sir, how do we then trust your lectures? The room is again deftly silent. The Professor stares at the student, his face unfathomable. After a long pause, Professor: I guess you'll have to take them on faith, son. Student: That is it Sir--Exactly! The link between man and God is faith. that is all that keeps things alive and moving.

The argument above took place in a time quite different than today. Even so, the points made by both the Professor and the Student are still common to arguments today regarding the existence of God. As Christians, we know that we cannot "argue" a person into heaven, but, we can defend our own faith just as the student did in the argument above. More and more scientists are coming to the realization of a "Grand Design". Evolution and Big Bang theories just don't seem to "measure" up in a scientific view, as science is in the business of measurement!

My hope is that someone somewhere might read this and better understand his relationship with God. Faith is the key and, by the way, the Student in the narrative above was____Albert Einstein! Have a blessed day!

Wax Lips and Candy Cigarettes

At the tender age of five I attended my first Halloween carnival at the little country school. Weeks earlier, my first grade teacher, Mrs Harmon, explained to us that my class  would be competing against the second, third, and fourth grade classes to see which class could raise the most money for the school. Each class was to select a boy and a girl to represent them in a pageant on carnival night for the titles of "Prince" and "Princess". Representatives of the class that raised the most money were to be crowned. For junior high the titles were "Duke" and "Duchess" and for high school "King" and "Queen".

In those days you could buy two bottles of chocolate (or white) milk for a nickel. The milk came in small glass bottles with a paper tab-like lid..I still remember how good they were. This would be about the only spending money most of us had and that wasn't every day! Many times I shared a bottle with a buddy or they with me, but, during the Halloween season our milk money was spent on things like wax lips and candy cigarettes. Our teachers would order boxes of novelty candies for us to buy and sell before, during, and after school. At a penny each, we thought we were really getting a bargain. Made of red wax, the lips would be worn by each kid for a while, then chewed like gum until all sweetness was gone. How cool did we look with a candy cigarette sticking out of our mouths...just like dad! As the days passed by leading up to the carnival, we hawked all sorts of penny candies, home made brownies and rice crispy treats, grab bags, and of course, raffle tickets on some super-wonderful prize that would be drawn for and given away that night. It was very exciting for us to compete with the other grades and we were so proud of the amount of money that we had worked so hard to raise. Would it be enough for our class to win?

Finally the night of the carnival arrived. The little school that housed grades one through twelve would be jam packed with a mass of humanity. Everyone in our school community would be there along with many visitors from surrounding schools and the small towns. In every room, desks and tables would be moved and stacked in one corner in order to make room for the class's booth. Doors and windows were decorated and the rooms were transformed into haunted houses or game rooms. Prizes and confections had been provided and collected during the week prior to the carnival and word always got out as to which class had the best prizes to give away. In the latter years, a dunking booth would be set up on the school yard. This was always a big draw as all the kids wanted the pleasure of dunking their principal, their teacher, or their coach. Yep!...this ol coach put in his time!

After taking their children around to see what each class was doing with their rooms, the adults would drift to the school's auditorium to sit and visit with each other or to participate in the PTA cake walk held on the stage. Mr. Dale would always command the only microphone and he would give the name of the lady who baked the cake while holding it up for all to see. After the allotted time, cakes that had not been won in the cake walk would be simply auctioned off. Mr Dale could make one of those cakes sound so scrumptious that people just had to buy it whether they wanted it or not!

Once the allotted time was up, the rooms were  closed and all money was counted. While this took place, all the raffle items were drawn for in the auditorium. Sometimes a local country band would perform a few songs to fill in time or the people would simply sit and wait. There was no hurry. People enjoyed each other's company.

Once the money was counted, the candidates for Prince and Princess took the stage. It was not uncommon for the "Princess" of the couple to be head and shoulders taller than her "Prince", but, it didn't matter for they were dressed with the finest little suits and dresses of the day reminiscent of the band performance in "The Music Man". Parents were so proud of their prince or princess. The height problem could easily be solved during the picture taking session with a box for the shorter Prince to stand upon.

I don't remember my class winning until we were seniors in high school (seniors always had an advantage it seems). Other classes ahead or behind us had superior numbers and therefore had more avenues to raise money (that's my story and I'm stickin to it!). The amounts of money raised for the school varied from year to year until the last carnival before the school was consolidated. Somewhere around $12,000 was raised at the final carnival as I recall. This was a tremendous amount for a small rural school with an enrollment around 250 students grades 1-12.

I attended the carnivals as a student and helped put them on as a teacher over a period of about 40 years. It was a grand time each year. Romances budded or wilted, pecking orders were established or changed, old friendships were renewed, children wore themselves out, and a great sense of pride filled the hearts of everyone involved.  Ahhh....the memories of good times together!

Keepin up with the Grands

Getting old is not for sissies! Your body does not cooperate with your mind in the way it did when you were younger! I still try to do things as I did when I was a young man and feel just fine during the act. It's the after effects that tell me "Yep! You're old!".

Well, even so, there are some perks with age and one of the best is grand children. We have seven grand children at the moment. Two of them live close to us and we see them regularly. The others live hours away and we miss seeing them all the time!

It's funny....when the grands come around, we go into the entertaining mode immediately. We've bought new toys, fresh chalk, crayons, coloring books, play dough, and brought out old stuff that "Nana" saved from our own kids' childhood. Once here, the playing starts and is non-stop until they either leave or reach bed time. I guess that because we know we won't have much time with them, we think we have to make it count!...so, we do! It's exhausting but worth every minute. We wallow around on the floor with them, well, one of us at the time...we learned that one of was needed to help the other get up off the floor! We sing to them and tell them stories, trying to make as many memories as possible in the short time they are with us. Nana, bless her heart, tries her best to get a "good" picture, but, one or more have their eyes shut, or, are looking at something other than the camera...they just don't get it!

Two of my grand sons are teenagers and are in a different world all together. They just sort of grunt a "Hey Papaw" then settle into their world of silence. Iphones with unlimited text plans have almost taken open verbal conversation out of their lives! Even our own daughters and son spend a lot of visit time looking at their phones....thinking about a "no phone" zone at my house!

One of our former pastors talked about his grandchildren at times. He said "The little angels would arrive early in the morning and the little devils left at dark!" We knew he was joking and he, like us, wanted to have his grand children with him as much as possible.

We are about to pack up and go to one of my daughter's house to keep our 2 and 3 year old grand daughters for a couple of days. Pray for us...they are a busy pair and get into everything!  Still, we look forward to it with great anticipation. We'll play with them, sing songs, rock them, feed them, and love them to death. Nana will once again try for that illusive "good" picture, and we'll make memories as we spend our time keeping up with the grands!

It is what it is

We couldn't put a finger on it. Something wasn't quite right with our grandson. He was born five weeks early but healthy. He did have a bad case of jaundice, but, so do many babies, and there is seldom any lasting effect. Having raised four children of our own and from our careers as public school teachers, my wife and I had been exposed to all sorts of behavioral, social, and mental disorders in children, and as we held him in our arms we just knew. His eyes never became fixed on anything, especially us! He didn't gurgle and coo as most babies do, nor did he often cry.

As he began to sit on his own and crawl, it seemed that he was oblivious to anything around him except for the one thing his little mind was focused on. Perhaps he could not hear? Tests showed his hearing was fine. "Oh well, he's just taking his time about talking." we thought. Finally he began to speak, well, sort of..he still would not respond if you called his name. It seemed that he just ignored your presence. You could put your hand on him and he would push it away, as if he didn't wish to be bothered. After a while he might get up and come give you a hug...just "out of the blue".

It became apparent early on that he was very smart. He taught himself to read by watching children's educational television shows. He absorbed information like a sponge absorbs water. He might suddenly walk up say something incredibly technical about some topic he had read or heard on TV. He became fascinated with Thomas the Train and could name every engine. Later on, Angry Bird and action figures took precedent. Again, he could name each one and even began to write his own stories about them, including crude illustrations. Still, it was very apparent that he would rather play alone, rather than with someone. Social interaction escapes him. He takes everything said to him literally. Picking at him is impossible.

Suddenly, we realized that he had always been aware when we spoke to him. He just had the ability to stay focused on whatever he was doing and hear every word said to him at the same time. It just never occurred to him to acknowledge our presence and our attempts to interact with him. He doesn't like loud noises or music. If you whistle or sing around him, he will say "Stop!". There was no doubt he was a bit different.

We all worried about him starting school. With our public school background, we understood how the system could help a child through various programs, but, at the time we still were not sure what or if anything was wrong. We had no objection when my daughter placed him in a small private academy. Kindergarten year went by with some problems. Soon after beginning his first grade year, he began to get in trouble because of "unusual " behaviors in the classroom. He acted as he did at home. His teacher could get little or no response from him. He would get up out of his seat and walk around, play alone on the playground, and just seem bored and uninterested in anything to do with school. Things began to mount, then one morning just prior to the Thanksgiving holidays of his second grade year, the principal of the school met my daughter at her car as she was about to drop him off. He informed her that the school board had met and decided that my grandson was such a problem that he could no longer attend school there. This devastated her. The next week she enrolled him in the public school...the best thing that could have happened to him.

My wife and the special education director had worked together and were great friends, so, she called her and informed her of our grandson's unusual characteristics. This gracious lady put her at ease telling her not to worry, they would figure out how to best serve him. Soon after enrollment, he was tested and the results pointed toward a condition called Asperger's Syndrome. On the other hand, they also indicated that he was a gifted child!  Finally...we had a direction. Appointments with psychologists confirmed that we had a child with Asperger's.

Now it all made sense. After studying about his condition, we realized that he did in fact love us all, he was not purposely ignoring us, he heard everything that was said to him, and he was super smart! We now know that Asperger's children must be taught social skills. Making eye contact is very difficult for them...again this has to be taught. Socially they may come across as arrogant, obnoxious, even disrespectful. They find any sort of change in routine or surrounding unsettling and it may cause them to become very agitated. An outburst may occur if a chair is out of place or something new replaces something worn out.

It is what it is. Our grandson is a great kid and we love him dearly. He will have Asperger's Syndrome all his life. He is now in fourth grade and doing well. He still has trouble with some things, but he is much better in general and we pray that he will grow into a happy and productive adult able to accomplish whatever he desires. God bless all children with Asperger's and their families!

Did You Hear?

It's come and gone again! Christmas for us is a lot different than it used to be. Our titles have changed from "Mama" and "Daddy" to "Nana" and "Papaw" and we are reconciled to the fact that we are no longer the integral part of our children's lives that we once were. They still call on us occasionally for this or that, we still see them once in a while, they still like Nana's cooking and always take the left overs home with them, and we know they still love us even though they really don't have time to be with us much.

I must admit that being a grandparent has a few perks.  You can pick up grand kids most any time, keep them till they wear you out, then take them home to their parents! If some are far away, travel opportunities abound! They often confide in you things that they might not want to share with others..the list goes on.

I do not begrudge my children's status as joy bringers to my grandchildren. It is their rightful place just as it was ours with them, but one never forgets the wide-eyed excitement in the eyes of his children, the fun of picking their brains to determine what they wanted Santa to bring, the family dinners at various relatives' houses, the hustle and bustle of the holiday season, and just the general noise a big family makes when all are in the same house.  We miss all of this terribly.

There is a saying that "What goes around comes around!".  As it was when we first married, we had a quiet Christmas eve, not silent mind you, just quiet compared to years past when the house was filled with the sounds made by small children in anticipation of the big event on Christmas morning. Mama and Daddy (now Nana and Papaw) were just as excited for the pleasure of seeing the focus of their love, their children, happy, healthy, and thriving because of their effort to provide for them...the wonder of it all given by God Himself!!

Yes, it is now a quiet holiday season for us, but it will never be silent. The love of family resounds throughout the heavens and earth whether we are gathered together or separated far apart. We love our family...hear it loud and clear!

Happy New Year from the Old Coach's bunch....well...'bout half of 'em anyway!